Archive for December, 2014

“That Look”


I love weddings.  The love in the husband’s eyes as his bride walks down the aisle, the celebration, the support, the tangible feeling of love.  But I almost love seeing them return into social life a few weeks later just as much.  There’s a look in both of their eyes….some couples whole faces seem different.  There’s a feeling of maturity, but much more so a sense of solidarity, comfort, peace.

Maybe I’m crazy, but I’ve always seen this.  I was telling Derek this a few weeks into our marriage, realizing as I looked at recently snapped pictures that we had that same look and resolution on our faces.

There’s something deeply potent about realizing someone has known your whole unfiltered self and not run away.  He’s seen that little mole on your back, your meaningless tears and emotions (and the real ones too), your sickly, sweaty self, your selfishness, your sinfulness…and he’s loved you anyways.  And that sense of steadfast pursuit, he’s not going anywhere, impacts you daily.

At this point, you probably see where I’m going with this.  As I was meditating on how these last beautiful 5 months of imperfect human love have changed me already, I began to ponder how 17 years of searching out the depths of Christ love has impacted me, my life, my face.

“We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us…By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.” (1 John 4:16-18)

The greek word phobos used to describe fear here literally means terror.  There is no terror in this real, solid relationship with Him.  He pursues me so diligently and loves me so well.

Marital love has given me the confidence that my husband will return home in the evening, faithful to me.  Christ’s love has given me the confidence that He is always with me, now and forever.  Marital love provides me with a sense of security: I won’t be abused by my protector.  Christ’s love gives security in the present and the future:  Eternity is filled with joy, not fear, praise, not tears.

There is hope for today and hope for the future.  And I pray that daily realization is conveyed in my life, in my actions, on my face.

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39

Stay homesick, Friend.


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