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Archive for August, 2013

  1. My idea of being a rebel these days is driving the white minivan out the “in” entrance.
  2. I have baby withdrawal on my weekends off.  A snuggle with a soft little guy smelling like lotion and formula heals a lot of wounds.
  3. I can’t leave the house without my day planner.
  4. My “kids” weigh heavy on my heart and frequent my prayers constantly.  I also  feel more heavily than ever the need to live a life of example.
  5. I have to hide the vegetables in casseroles and lasagnas so my “kids” don’t notice.  (Recently everyone in the world and their mother has been donating zucchini.  We have had zucchini bread, zucchini chips, stuffed zucchini, zucchini casserole, zucchini fries…the list could go on and on.)
  6. I answer the “why?” questions constantly.  The same ones.
  7. I consider the bathroom my “personal time”.  Ironically this is also when people seem to need me most.
  8. Thrifting this weekend I discovered a “hand wash” tag in a potential purchase and inwardly laughed derisively as I returned it to the rack, remembering the days I had time for that.  Dry cleaning is like a hilarious twisted joke.
  9. The highest moments of my day are the smiles of a sleeping baby in my arms, someone learning how to crawl, an “aha” moment from one of the girls, or the hilarity of a baby’s priceless “pooping face”.

and finally…

10.  Everyday I feel a little more sympathy for what I put my mom through.

Watching a baby grow and develop constantly reminds me of the tender parenting of my Father God.  I wonder how He lovingly watches me learn to “crawl”….having each tiny truth necessary for growth but not knowing how to apply them together into a holy pursuit of Him.  I wonder how my cries and tantrums do not wear Him down.  I wonder how He can love so dearly and completely one He adopted.

And I have a new burden and respect for mothers out there raising kids.  It’s TOUGH.  You are now each heavier on my heart and in my prayers.  You have been given a priceless job, a treasured duty each day…God is using you to shape lives.  And I have the deepest respect for the sacrifices you make daily and all you give with no return.

Like His grace that never ends. “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.”

Pursuing being sourced in Him,

Tanya

(This has been an immense blessing to me daily. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBfHUrLGzNY)

 

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Recent Wonderings

Recently I’ve been wondering a lot of things.

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When will this “title” feel like real life?

 

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How is my brother able to fit into my pants?

 

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Will I be here again?

 

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Do I have a poetry problem? (now well into my second book!)

 

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Will the thrill of fuzzy socks on a slippery floor ever grow dull? (and other simple pleasures?)

 

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Why are transitions so bipolar?

 

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Will I ever be able to lead worship without being absolutely terrified?  Will I ever be ok with leading worship?

 

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Can I contain my excitement in waiting for this?

 

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How is His peace so perfect?

And the bigger ones…..how can these two little men have stolen my heart so quickly?  How am I, such an insufficient child, given this prize of a job?  How is it so easy for me to forget in my lacking He is overwhelmingly over-aboundingly sufficient?

The truth I cling to today:  “Today I crave to be an encourager, a hard worker, a truth seeker, a truth speaker, a listening friend, a wise counselor, a just authority, a quiet servant, a zealous studier.  Today firstly though, I crave to be a daughter.  I long to love You more and let Your love permeate me.  I long for this to be my inspiration for every other goal.

The list is long and overwhelming….but a daughter?  I can be a daughter today.” -The Daughter Diaries-Family Tree and Insufficiencies

I depend like David today.

Psalm 86

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